Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
