if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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