i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
