im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
