Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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