I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
