O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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