if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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