Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
