Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
