what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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