I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
