he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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