I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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