Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
