I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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