I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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