Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
