Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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