So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
