week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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