i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize