nut hugger
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
