I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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