Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
