I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
