Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
