I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
