That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
