You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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