Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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