Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
