OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
