Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
