Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
