I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
