Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
