I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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