Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Four minutes until I can fart!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
