I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
