dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize