The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
