Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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