Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
