You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
