Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
