She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
