she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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