i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
