Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
