fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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