Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
