i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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