I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
