you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
