Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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