just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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