All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
