My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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