For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
