hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
