My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
